A White man married a Black woman when she got pregnant with their first child, but when the boy was born, he was darker than his mother and had his father doubting his paternity. Social media users called him out for getting a paternity test behind his wife’s back.
On May 9, 2020, a 29-year-old White man took to Reddit, asking for advice about a touchy situation he’d gotten himself into. He explained how he was married to a 30-year-old Black woman whom he had two young children with.
His son was five, while their daughter was three when he wrote his query. The man questioned his son’s paternity because the boy was much darker than his mother and looked nothing like his father.
After listening to those close to him about the child not being his, he decided to get a paternity test behind his wife’s back, only for that to backfire. Here’s the full story of what led the man to Reddit.
Why a White Father Ended Up Getting a Paternity Test for His Only Son
The White man started his Reddit post by revealing that he’d shared his story in the Relationship Advice community before it was removed because it belonged in the Am I The [expletive] (AITA) section. He explained that he had two children — a son and a daughter.
The poster said his Black wife became pregnant with their son early in their one-year relationship, and they tied the knot because of that. Luckily, the couple was quite happy in the marriage, and although he accepted their son as his when he was born, the man noticed how the boy hardly resembled him, adding:
“He is noticeably darker than my wife.”
The man complained that his son didn’t look half-White and that his friends and family had asked if he was sure the boy was his. The father admitted having doubts but initially chose to trust his wife, and he loved his son.
However, when the boy was two, the couple welcomed their daughter, and the man did not doubt her paternity. He noted how she looked like him, had the same blue eyes as him, and he and his family bonded with her faster. He stated:
“I never realized how powerful it is to know a child is yours.”
Without the question of his paternity, the man found it easier to connect with his daughter, and seeing her resemblance to him, he became convinced his son wasn’t his. The man said he tried to treat his children as equals because he saw them as his offspring.
However, soon enough, resentment started setting in against his son, with the man saying: “It felt unfair that I had to care for someone else’s child. I also began to resent my wife because I felt she had betrayed me.” The husband confessed:
“I finally got a paternity test in secret.”
The man was relieved when he discovered the boy was indeed his, and in the few months that followed, the relationship between him, his wife, and his son improved drastically, and he now felt closer to the boy, knowing he was his. He and his wife were so happy when they started discussing having a third child.
However, he confessed to the paternity test because he hated keeping secrets and thought his wife would understand since their son didn’t look like him. Instead of understanding, his wife lost it and asked him if he’d doubted their daughter too; he said he didn’t, and she called him a racist.
A third person felt the husband didn’t consciously believe Black people were less than Whites…
The father of two denied being racist and shared how he didn’t prefer his daughter because of her “whiter features” but because he knew she was his child. His wife accused him of having made their son feel unloved for no reason for years, but he disagreed, saying he’d treated the boy like his own despite his doubts.
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